What is Performative Anyway?
Are we really part of a culture that shames people for showing interest in something?
People have always followed trends, that’s not scary or new. But the way people are ultra-connected today and able to monitor the lives of others, almost as if standing over their shoulder - is deeply terrifying.
Part of me feels like we have an ability to convince ourselves that we’re doing things “for ourselves” even when they’re really just to prove to others that we’ve done them. There’s a big difference between organizing your fridge to help your family avoid waste and being proud to show it vs. adding an extra hour to grocery shopping because of some trend you want to emulate.
It’s also not a bad thing if some TikTok trend gave you the motivation you needed to finally attack that project in the kitchen you’ve been thinking about. Whatever works for you is the key. As long as whatever you’re doing is adding to an experience rather than taking away.
Also — I don’t think being completely performative is always a negative thing.
Sometimes being “performative” might just be acting like the person you want to become, a means of manifesting the future you envision for yourself.
In fact, being “performative” can be extremely positive. For example if someone is working on themselves and making a real effort to change past bad behavior or patterns.
Now when those people suddenly show up acting “performative” they might be met with assholes who deep down are so afraid of change themselves, they can’t help but make fun of people who show signs of wanting to try something new.
The person who wanted to “do better” is now being gaslit simply because they decided against inaction for a change, and it made the stagnant people uncomfortable.
Also sort of related, maybe… I also see a lot of people getting angry about things like Bookstagram and Booktok. Those who valiantly devour dozens of novels with “substantial” content and “deep narrative arcs” seem to despise those who post about romantasy and pretty floral book covers.
Even when people post about the books they enjoy, they will deem the reader as performative because they didn’t prove their understanding of every single nuance and thus didn’t really read it.
Instead of celebrating that young people are even showing an interest in reading (something that benefits all readers and aspiring authors) they condemn those who don’t consume in the same way they do.
Lets just be happy that there are more readers out there to write for, people who might not yet be interested in the same genre as you, but maybe simply because the right book hasn’t found them yet.
If you find yourself bothered by someone coming across as “performative” I think it might be an opportunity to explore something within, and perhaps even lead to an unknown, or suppressed passion.
Because truly, why else would we be bothered by what other people are doing? Unless they are actually causing harm or spreading misinformation, it might just be a chance for growth.